BLUE EYED JEDI.

I have loved Ray lamontagne since he first seeped into my heart. He speaks truths that rip my heart open. He quiets my thoughts so that I am alive to nothing in the world but his crusty voice; and he has been able to do this until today.

My heart is so full. My head is spinning trying to keep this infinite string of thoughts from suffocating me. See, the universe aligned in the most unexpected of ways to give me, a little girl lost in this big universe, my very own Jedi.  This jedi was, as expected, mystical. His skin was lined with angels so his every touch would be heavenly. His mouth was filled with tenderness speaking kind truths carried by the blunt smell of tobacco and coffee. 

Those blue crystals could see into the future and they looked through me with such ease, burning down all inhibitions, all facades so that I was always naked before him. 

I was not a good girl, I was not on santas list for Christmas but I was consumed. I always travelled with him in every story. I rose and fell with the dying sound of his laughter. I was his for saving. 

This jedi, the master- my jedi, my master- then distorted the balance he had walked with unmatched precision. The energies were all wrong and the force of ease became a battle of colors; Blacks and whites fighting for clarity ending up a messy pool of blurry gray.  

Yes our eyes met. Yes his spirit lifted mine in rainbow streaks. Yes, the gods lived in the warmth of his smile- but no, he was never mine. He was a temporary reprieve to an ailing girl looking for positive energy.

The jedi left, and he took with him all doubt that heaven does not exist. 

You see, I have lived in it; in his bosom, a den of cherubs lined with beautifully chiseled force. 

I have tasted heaven. 

His stories. 

His company.

Him.

...And so I look to the sunset, Ray lamontagne slowly regaining control over me, waiting in the energy of his force, until the sun turns black.